The Parable of the Plan
Failure by other means
Sorry that this post is delayed a few days. We were on the road Monday and Tuesday returning from Annapolis.
There once was a man with two sons. Both were capable, kind, and good. One day the man asked his sons to help him to build a barn.
“Sons, tomorrow we will build a barn. Please come to the far field at daylight with your tools and provisions for three days. We will work all day each day to build a barn to protect the flock during the winter months.”
Both sons nodded and said they would be there the next morning.
When morning came only one son arrived at the far field at daylight as instructed. He had his own hammer, an old rusty saw, a t-square, and a pencil. His father looked at him with pride and thanked him for coming. He showed his son a pile of lumber and asked him to mark a certain number to be cut a certain length. The boy went to work. At first he had questions and was hesitant, but eventually, he learned what Dad wanted and he confidently marked the boards the correct lengths.
When he had completed that task, his father patted him on the back, told him good job, gave him an apple, and explained that the next task he had for his son was to cut the boards he had just marked. He then handed his son the saw he had brought. But now it was cleaned of rust, sharpened, and ready to work. The boy was shown how to cut the boards he had marked.
The boy went to work. At first he had questions and was hesitant, but eventually, he learned what Dad wanted and he confidently cut the boards to the correct length. The hours sped by but the son worked hard. Soon his dad called him for lunch and they ate a feast. The boy had brought only a simple sandwich and water, but his dad had brought a whole spread.
The day continued this way. They worked until the sun was low in the sky and then they ate dinner, spoke of life as they sat near the fire, and retired to sleep.
The next day was the same, but the boy had fewer questions and worked faster and better. He was learning to see what his father was doing and anticipating the help that was needed. His questions were fewer, but more meaningful. By the end of the second day the barn had taken shape. It had a roof and most of its walls. It was clear that it would be a wonderful addition to the farm. They slept wall that night.
The next morning they began work bright and early. They were both cheerful and bright. The son, after two days of hard work, was confident in ways he had not even imagined just two short days ago. He knew his father in ways he hadn’t considered. He was grateful for his life in ways he hadn’t considered. The farm felt like more of a blessing than a burden.
At the end of the third day, his father thanked him again, and gave him a big hug. They admired the work of their hands.
“Son, you will go on to build many more barns and have much more work, but now you can go with confidence. You’ve already done it once.”
They embraced and then made the walk home. On their way they met the other brother.
“Where have you been?” asked the first son, wondering whether his brother was hurt or whether some great misfortune had befallen him.
“I wasn’t ready to come. I didn’t know about barns. The first day I read some articles about proper barn-building. Then I realized Dad probably needed my help to build the best barn, so I spent the next two days drawing plans for the barn. Now I am ready to build.”
28 … A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go awork to day in my vineyard.
29 He answered and said, aI will not: but afterward he repented, and went.
30 And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and awent bnot.
31 Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.
Failure and Growth
You probably noticed a similarity between my story (my first parable in this series) and Christ’s parable in Matthew 21 above. I wanted to make a parable about my own shortcomings. In many ways and at many times in my life, I have been the 2nd son. I can be paralyzed by the need to think more, to plan more, to understand all before I do anything.
That is not the way we learn. Looking back over the stories I have shared so far in this newsletter over the past 8 months, I find the theme that failure is what has led to growth. We have to make mistakes in order to really grow. We have to try before we can really learn.
Lessons Learned
We spent this past weekend with our oldest daughter, who just finished her “plebe summer” at the US Naval Academy. In a quiet moment on Saturday while her sisters shopped for jeans, and she relaxed with Yulia and me, she talked about how hard things are. She said that she knows she needs to fail so she can learn, so she was learning a lot.
She told the story of her Navy “Dress Whites” and how her detailers1 told them they had 10 minutes to put them on the first time. They hadn’t been taught how. They came out 18 minutes later and were “all wrong.” They were yelled at, then taught, and then given many more opportunities to practice putting on their whites in the correct amount of time.
Nika expressed frustration that some of the members of her platoon don’t seem to be learning and improving. She noted that they had all failed at the task at first. None of them were able to do the task to standard. But that spurred them to try harder, to learn how to do it, and to improve.
The Principle
I would like to apply this principle to the big plan of life. We were sent to earth to learn. We have to learn through difficulties. We don’t necessarily have to make all the wrong choices, but we do have to do something. The first, second, and hundredth times we fall a little short can help us to do that something better.
If this life was only about game-planning the perfect way to be, we would not have to be here. We could have spent the per-existence simply planning the best way to live life. Life is what happens when the reality of our abilities is tested by circumstances, people, and situations outside of our control and experience. Then we gain experience, we improve our abilities, and we move to the next opportunity to grow.
Luckily, we have a patient Father who gives us room to grow. My goal is to be like the first son and to grow while working alongside Dad building the life he wants for me.
Detailers are other midshipmen who act as “drill sergeants” during plebe summers.
I add my witness that DOING is how we learn and we keep LEARNING more lessons as we move through life. CHANGE is so important as we live our lives seeking to BECOME better BEINGS.